Let the Children Pray: Shepherding Young Hearts Without Assuming Saving Faith
“The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to Yahweh, but the prayer of the upright is His delight.” (Proverbs 15:8)
As Christian parents, we are eager for our children to know and love the Lord. We want to teach them the Word, shape their thinking with the truth, and model faithful Christian living before them. But what do we do when it comes to prayer, especially when we know that our children may not yet be born again?
We teach them to pray, but we also teach them they need to be saved.
Now, at first glance, this may seem like a contradiction: Why teach them something we know they can’t do genuinely without a regenerate heart? But as with all discipleship in the home, the answer is not to avoid the tension; but rather, to teach through it, with Scripture as our guide.
So let’s walk through this question carefully, with both theological precision and practical application.
Prayer Is a Privilege Reserved for the Righteous
Scripture is not ambiguous on this point. It’s true that God delights in the prayers of the upright (Prov. 15:8), but He does not honor the prayers of the unrepentant (Ps. 66:18; Prov. 28:9). Therefore, only those who come to Him through the Mediator, the Lord Jesus Christ, are truly heard (1 Tim. 2:5; Heb. 10:19–22).
That’s why the gospel must never be sidelined in our homes. We don’t merely want our children to learn how to “talk to God”; we want them to genuinely come to know God. So yes, while we teach them to pray, we must also teach them that true prayer depends on who they are in Christ—not just in what they say.
Children are Not Born Believers
Because we believe the Bible, we affirm what Scripture clearly teaches: our children, like all people, are born in sin (Ps. 51:5; Rom. 3:23). They do not begin life as Christians simply because they’re born into a Christian family.
We long for their salvation, we plead with God for their regeneration, but we do not presume upon it. Therefore, we must be careful not to give our children the false impression that if they say the right words or bow their heads at the right time, they will be accepted by God.
Instead, we lead them to see their need for a new heart. And we teach them that prayer flows from faith, and that true faith is a gift of God (Eph. 2:8).
So Why Teach Them to Pray?
Because biblical parenting is not just about reaction; it’s about preparation.
We see an example of this in Deuteronomy 6:6–8. There, Moses says to the Israelites, “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”
Notice that Moses doesn’t say that they should only teach their children when they begin to demonstrate evidence of genuine salvation. On the contrary, teaching them the truth of who God is and how they’re called to live before Him is the God-ordained means by which to genuinely know Him.
Therefore, it’s from this same perspective that we teach our children to pray. It’s like teaching them to say “I’m sorry,” or “Thank you,” or “Will you forgive me”—not because we assume it’s heartfelt every time, but because we are training their conscience and preparing the soil of their heart for the gospel to take root.
Remember that Jesus rebuked the pride of hypocritical prayer (Matt. 6:5–8), but He also welcomed the humility of children (Matt. 19:14).
And when His disciples asked Him how to pray, He didn’t rebuke their ignorance. He taught them, saying, “Pray then like this…” (Matt. 6:9).
We do the same with our children; not because we believe every prayer is genuine, but because every moment of instruction is an aspect of their discipleship.
Teach Prayer with Theological Clarity
With that in mind, when we teach our children to pray, we must also teach them what prayer is, who it is for, and what it means to be heard by God. This guards against moralism and invites genuine gospel conversation.
Here’s how:
Explain Who God Is
“God is holy, powerful, and perfect. He hears the prayers of those who love and trust Him. He is not like a divine genie or a cosmic vending machine; He is the living God.”
Explain Who We Are
“We are sinners who need a Savior. We don’t deserve for God to listen to us—but because of Jesus, God invites us to pray if we trust in Him.”
Explain What Prayer Is For
“Prayer is how we talk to God, not to get what we want, but to know Him, love Him, and ask for His help.”
Explain What They Need
“Until you believe in Jesus and trust Him as your Savior, your prayers are not what God delights in. But He loves when people call out to Him for mercy.”
These truths may sound heavy for young hearts, but they are critical for a proper understanding. They teach our children that they don’t need to pretend, perform, or fake it. They just need Jesus.
Model Dependence, Not Performance
Perhaps the most powerful way we lead our children in prayer is by the prayers they hear from us. Not rehearsed, polished, or impressive prayers, but raw, humble, and honest ones.
When our children hear us confess sin, give thanks, plead for help, and intercede for others, they see what real communion with God looks like.
Over time, they learn that prayer isn’t a ritual; it’s a relationship. And they begin to recognize that their greatest need is not better words, but a new heart.
Encourage Gospel-Prayers from Your Kids
While we should never affirm false assurance, we should also not discourage early expressions of faith. If your child begins to pray, encourage them to talk to God—but always bring it back to the gospel:
“Sweetheart, I love that you’re talking to God. Do you know what He wants more than anything? For you to turn from your sin and trust in Jesus. Then He promises to always hear your prayers and never let you go.”
This balance avoids manipulation but keeps the door open for Spirit-born repentance.
Discipline as a Door to Prayer
One of the most beautiful opportunities to teach our children to pray is through discipline. Biblical discipline is never merely corrective; it is restorative and redemptive in aim. In the context of parenting, discipline becomes a prime moment to invite our children into confession, humility, and prayer.
When our child sins and is disciplined, we have a natural opportunity to lead them to see their need for Christ and model what it means to respond to God with repentance. But again, we do this with theological clarity:
“Son, you disobeyed, and that disobedience matters—not just because you broke a rule, but because it reveals your heart. God calls us to turn from disobedience, not just say sorry. And He hears the prayers of those who come to Him through Jesus.”
After addressing the sin clearly and calmly, we can ask our children:
“Would you like to pray and ask God to help you turn from this sin?”
“Do you know what Jesus did so that sinners like us can be forgiven?”
“Can I pray for you right now, and then you can talk to God, too?”
Even if our child is unsaved, this cultivates the space for them to hear the language of humility, grace, and gospel dependence. It reinforces that prayer is not just for crisis or bedtime—it’s for every moment when we realize we need mercy.
Discipline, then, becomes more than correction. It becomes a doorway to the cross.
Aim for Heart-Level Discipleship
It’s important to remember that we don’t teach our kids to pray from a heart of presumption. We teach them to pray so they can learn what it means to depend on the Lord, even before they actually do.
We teach them reverence, dependence, confession, gratitude, and humility—not because these things save, but because they lead them to the Savior who does.
And as we teach them to bow their heads, we pray with every fiber of our being that one day, they will genuinely bow their hearts—and truly call upon the name of the Lord.
“For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Rom. 10:13)