Cultivating Gratitude as a Gospel Habit
One of the greatest joys of my life is being a Dad. I love seeing how God has created and designed my children, as His image-bearers, each with their own unique personalities, interests, and gifts. And although being an earthly father is an immense responsibility, I fully embrace the God-given privilege I have, along with my wife, to be their parents—parents who are going to love them, protect them, and teach them—discipling them, by God’s grace, to become followers of Christ. So, anytime there’s an opportunity to provide my kids with a life lesson, I try to take advantage of it. Not long ago, I had one of those opportunities.
My wife and I were trying to get our then 4-year-old son, Liam, to finish his dinner. We ended up compromising with him on one final bite of green beans. The incentive, of course, was dessert—which on that night was a chocolate brownie. So, after receiving his brownie for dessert, Liam started eating it, while also smiling and talking, in a very proud tone, about how I had gone easy on him. But he didn’t stop there.
He went on to describe how his mommy had also gone easy on him a few days before, letting him have a cookie without eating all his dinner on that occasion as well. So, recognizing that there was an obvious teaching opportunity before me, I started explaining to Liam how important it is that we eat our dinner. We talked about how the Lord provides us with food and how vegetables make us strong and healthy, and I let him know that from now on, he would not be getting any dessert without eating everything on his plate, first.
After I finished, of course, I expected Liam to say something in response—something to acknowledge that he understood this lesson I was trying to teach him. Instead, he sat very quietly for a few moments, as if he was contemplating it all in his mind. Then, he turned his head and began staring at the brownie on my plate. And with complete seriousness, 4-year old Liam looked at me and said: “Are you gonna eat that?”
Simply put, when it comes to teaching our kids important life lessons, it can be challenging—sometimes just to get through it with a straight face. But the goal, in addition to pointing them to Christ, is to prepare them for life without you. We want them to be fully functioning disciples of Jesus and people who understand how to interact, rightly, in the real world. And at the foundation of that real-world interaction is gratitude.
Gratitude and the Gospel
The Bible presents gratitude not as an occasional response but as a defining mark of the Christian life. Paul reminds the Thessalonian believers to “give thanks in everything, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thess. 5:18). Gratitude is not a personality trait or a circumstantial reaction. Instead, it flows from the gospel itself. When we remember that Christ bore our sins and gave us new life, thanksgiving is the only fitting response.
As parents, we are called to model this gospel-shaped gratitude before our children. If our words constantly carry complaint, our children will assume that ingratitude is normal. On the flipside, if our words are seasoned with thanks, they will learn that joy in Christ is the posture of a redeemed heart.
Gratitude as a Daily Practice
Habits are formed in the ordinary moments of life. A thankful heart is cultivated when gratitude becomes part of the daily rhythm of the home. Contrary to popular belief, that doesn’t happen only at Thanksgiving or when something dramatic occurs. It happens when parents teach their children to thank God for the moments of everyday life—for breakfast, for safe travel, for a kind word from a friend, or even for the trials that draw us closer to Christ.
One of the natural places to practice this is during family worship. After reading Scripture and praying together, parents can ask, “What are three things we can thank God for today?” In this way, children quickly learn that gratitude is not about waiting for something spectacular, but about recognizing God’s goodness in both small and large ways.
Gratitude and Contentment
Gratitude also trains the heart to rest in God’s providence. When we thank God for what we already have, our hearts are guarded from the restless craving of what we don’t have. Paul spoke of learning the secret of contentment in every situation (Phil 4:11–12). That secret was not self-sufficiency, but Christ-sufficiency.
Our children are constantly confronted with messages that fuel discontentment. Television commercials and YouTube advertisements tell them they need more. Social media tells them they are missing out. But gratitude rooted in Christ teaches them that they already have every spiritual blessing in Christ, if they’re trusting in Him for salvation (Eph 1:3). Parents who practice this kind of thankfulness in daily life provide a living example of where true joy and contentment is found.
Gratitude in Hardship
It’s also important to remember that gratitude doesn’t ignore pain or deny difficulty. Instead, it views every circumstance through the lens of God’s sovereignty. James calls believers to “consider it all joy” when they face trials, knowing that God uses those trials to produce endurance (Jam 1:2–4). Parents who thank God in the midst of hardship demonstrate to their children that faith is not shallow optimism but a deep trust in God’s purposes.
Children who watch their parents thank God even in loss, sickness, or disappointment learn that gratitude is not tied to feelings. It’s anchored to faith.
Practical Ways to Cultivate Gratitude in the Home
Model Thankfulness Daily
Let your children hear you thank God out loud for specific blessings. Gratitude that is spoken becomes gratitude that is contagious.
Keep a Family Gratitude Journal
Write down one thing each day that your family is thankful for. Review it regularly and point out ways how God has worked over time.
Use Meals as Moments of Thanks
Beyond simply praying before food, encourage each person to share something they are grateful for at the table.
Connect Gratitude to Scripture
Memorize verses that highlight thanksgiving, such as Psalm 136 or Colossians 3:15–17. Let those words shape your family’s vocabulary.
Thank Others Intentionally
Teach your children to express gratitude to pastors, friends, and siblings. Thankfulness to others is an overflow of thankfulness to God.
Gratitude as Worship
Gratitude is not simply a tool for raising polite children. It’s worship. When we give thanks, we are confessing that God is good, sovereign, and generous. We are acknowledging that we deserve nothing, but have received everything in Christ. Gratitude lifts the eyes of the family away from self and fixes them on the Giver of every good gift.
Families who cultivate gratitude as a gospel habit will not only create a joyful home but will also point one another to the One who is worthy of all thanks. May we as parents lead the way in giving thanks, teaching our children that thanksgiving is not just a holiday but the posture of a heart transformed by the gospel.