A Biblical Framework for Forgiveness
Many are familiar with the life of Corrie ten Boom. For those who may not be, the Boom family were from the Netherlands, and they helped many Jewish people flee from the Nazis during World War II by hiding them in their home. Corrie and her family were later caught and sent to prison and concentration camps for their work. Although her father and sister both died during their imprisonment, in God’s providence Corrie was released. Some years later, while traveling throughout Europe to share her testimony of God’s gracious forgiveness in Christ, Corrie was speaking at a church in Munich, Germany. As she concluded her talk, she noticed a familiar man walking down the aisle toward her whose appearance brought back painful memories of her time in the concentration camp. Corrie recounts the situation, saying:
The place was Ravensbruck, and the man who was making his way forward had been a guard—one of the most cruel guards. Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: “A fine message! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!” And I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me, of course—how could he remember one prisoner among those thousands of women? But I remembered him…I was face to face with one of my captors, and my blood seemed to freeze. “You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk,” he was saying. “I was a guard there.” No, he did not remember me. “But since that time,” he went on, “I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well.”—again the hand came out—“will you forgive me?” And I stood there—I whose sins had again and again been forgiven—and could not forgive…It could not have been many seconds that he stood there—hand held out—but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do. For I had to do it—I knew that…And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an emotion—I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. “Jesus, help me!” I prayed silently. “I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.” And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, and sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes. “I forgive you, brother,” I cried. “With all my heart!” For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely as I did then.[1]
How could someone who had suffered so greatly at the hands of another forgive so completely? Where did the motivation for Corrie’s desire to forgive originate? It came forth from a heart that had been forgiven; for those who see the magnitude of the forgiveness they have received, are uniquely motivated to forgive (Luke 7:47).
The Context for Forgiveness
Forgiveness is something we all instinctively want to receive, but often struggle to give. So, in order for us to think rightly about the concept of forgiveness, we need to begin by establishing the biblical context. In Scripture, the word forgiveness means “release” or “pardon”. What are we released or pardoned from? Well, directly connected to the idea of forgiveness is the concept of sin.
At its most fundamental level, sin is falling short of God’s glory and missing the mark of His perfect righteousness (Rom. 3:23). Originating from the moment of humanity’s rebellion in the garden, the nature of sin has been passed down from Adam to his posterity (1 Cor. 15:22). As human beings, we have inherited Adam’s sinful nature. In addition to the inheritance of a sinful nature, we have also been imputed with Adam’s sinful rebellion (Rom. 5:18). And finally, when we break God’s moral law, we are guilty of committing individual sins (Rom. 3:20, 1 John 3:4). Without question, then, human beings are sinners by inheritance, imputation, and individual guiltiness for committing personal sins. The penalty for this three-fold guilt is spiritual separation from God, physical death, and eternal condemnation in hell (Eph. 4:18, Rom. 6:23, Rev. 21:8).
To explain further, we are guilty of committing sins both vertically and horizontally. First and foremost, from the vertical perspective, when we sin, we are committing cosmic treason and rebellion against the Creator of the universe. From the horizontal perspective, we are guilty of committing sins and offenses against other image-bearers of God. Therefore, not only do we experience hostility with God, but our sins also create separation and enmity within our human relationships (Eph. 2:14-16 , Col. 1:21).
The Need for Forgiveness
This is where the need for forgiveness is clearly seen. Thankfully, the Lord has revealed Himself in Scripture as a God who is both just and merciful. One of the most explicit places we see the concept of the Lord’s forgiveness is in Psalm 103:8-12, which says:
The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always (rebuke), nor will He keep His anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.
This is incredibly good news! Although we are guilty before God’s holy, righteous standard, and deserve His wrath, He has revealed Himself as a God who is merciful and gracious. Instead of dealing with us according to our sins, the Lord declares that He will remove the transgressions from those who fear Him. In other words, we can be released, pardoned, and forgiven of our sins. How does this judicial transaction of forgiveness take place? The Apostle Paul tells us in his epistle to the Ephesians, as he writes:
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace… In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of His glory (Eph. 1:7, 13-14).
In other words, God demonstrates grace and mercy to His people through the gospel of His Son, Jesus Christ. Through our faith in the perfect person and work of Jesus, we are forgiven of our sins, released from sin’s penalty, and promised eternal life. This is the glorious reality of how God graciously meets our great need of forgiveness.
The Motivation for Forgiveness
Not only is forgiveness an essential part of our salvation in Christ, but when God forgives us of our sins, we become citizens of a new kingdom. Scripture says that “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (Col. 1:13-14). Thus, divine forgiveness not only eternally impacts our relationship with God, but it also fundamentally affects our relationship with others. Instead of living according to the patterns, priorities, and prerogatives of darkness, we are set free to live as citizens of the light. For this reason, Paul writes, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:32).
So, how do we live out this call to forgive others as God has forgiven us? Well, it starts by setting our gaze upon the cross, for the cross alone is where we find the finished work of Christ which was accomplished to purchase our forgiveness. And, there, on the cross, “God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). So our motivation for forgiving others flows from the forgiveness God has granted to us.
The Purpose of Forgiveness
From there, it’s important for us to understand the goal, or purpose, of forgiveness. Looking to God’s forgiveness of His people as the example, we realize that the purpose is two-fold. First and foremost, the goal of forgiveness is the glory of God. Ephesians 1 teaches us that the primary purpose of God’s will in forgiveness and salvation is “the praise of His glorious grace” (Eph. 1:5-7). In other words, by forgiving undeserving sinners and blessing them with eternal life, God is putting the magnitude of His glorious grace on display for all to see. Likewise, then, as we think about the goal of forgiving others, this should be our purpose as well. Although it necessarily takes place in the context of sin and hurt, the opportunity to forgive others, as God has forgiven us in Christ, exalts the gospel and brings Him much glory.
In addition, Ephesians 1 goes on to tell us the second, fundamental goal of forgiveness, which God, according to His purpose, has “set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth” (Eph. 1:9-10). This means that one of God’s great goals for forgiveness, throughout all of redemptive history, is reconciliation (Col. 1:19-20). God is sovereignly bringing all things into submission to Christ’s Lordship. For some, this will mean that they will not bow the knee to Christ until the last day (Phil. 2:10-11). But for others, God is destroying the enmity that separates them from Him, regenerating their rebellious hearts, and reconciling them to Himself through the gospel. That profound reality both transforms and informs the opportunity we have to extend forgiveness to others. As Paul concludes to the Corinthian church:
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to Himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making His appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake He made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God (2 Cor. 5:17-21).
Therefore, as we consider the purpose of forgiveness, we must always do so with the goal of restoration and reconciliation in view. Our greatest desire should be to see all image-bearers reconciled to God in Christ. And flowing from that heart of reconciliation, we should desire to be restored to a right relationship with others.
The Criteria for Forgiveness
This leads us to consider the practical ways in which forgiveness is granted. Thinking first about forgiveness from the Lord, human beings have a responsibility to respond to the good news of what Jesus Christ has accomplished through his death, burial, and resurrection. We see an example of this in Peter’s first sermon on the day of Pentecost. In response to Peter’s proclamation, the crowd asks what they should do, to which Peter responds, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins…” (Acts 2:38).
So, the only proper response to the truth of the gospel is repentance. “Repentance (μετάνοια, etymologically 'change of mind') involves a turning with contrition from sin to God; the repentant sinner is in the proper condition to receive the divine forgiveness.”[2] This is why Jesus began his public preaching ministry by saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matt. 4:17).
Not only is repentance the pathway to forgiveness and reconciliation with God, but it’s also the prescribed means of reconciliation between His image-bearers. Scripture provides us with the parameters for this type of reconciling forgiveness from both a personal and corporate perspective.
Reconciling Forgiveness Between Individuals
In Luke 17, we find Jesus teaching his disciples about sinful temptation. He then exhorts them saying, “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him” (v. 3–4). Here, we see the pattern for reconciling forgiveness between fellow image-bearers.
First, Jesus calls us to “pay attention to ourselves.” In context, this follows the sober warning about tempting others to sin, but it’s a similar exhortation to the one found in the gospel of Matthew where Jesus says:
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye (Matt. 7:3-5).
In other words, we should approach perceived offenses with humility. Instead of jumping to conclusions, we should seek to give the benefit of the doubt whenever possible. In doing so, if we still conclude that our brother has sinned against us, we need to first make sure we’re not guilty of committing the same sin, or an offense far worse.
Once we’ve determined that an offense has been committed, Jesus next instructs us to “rebuke” the one who has sinned against us. This is the aspect of the process that coincides with reconciling forgiveness in the church. As we see in Matthew 18, Jesus says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother” (v. 15). Notice that Jesus does not command his followers to tell others about the sin. He also doesn’t say to remain silent or pretend the offense didn’t occur. But, rather, he calls the offended person to go to his brother and speak to him about the issue in private; to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). Far too often, the entire reconciliation process is hindered because this step isn’t followed.
It’s also important to note, at this point, that Jesus provides these instructions specifically in the context of brothers. That is to say that this process of reconciliation is taking place between two followers of Christ. The presupposition, then, is that these two individuals have each repented and trusted in Christ for their salvation, they each have the Holy Spirit dwelling within them, and they are each motivated to reconcile, because they have each experienced reconciliation with God. This, of course, doesn’t mean that reconciling forgiveness can’t take place between two individuals who are not both believers. In fact, for a true believer, this type of process provides a wonderful evangelistic opportunity to point the offending person to the gospel. Either way, we simply need to recognize the fundamental distinction between the nature of believers and unbelievers when considering the dynamics of the situation.
Returning to our Lord’s instructions, in the final step of reconciliation between individuals, Jesus says, “and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Here, once again, we see that repentance is the pathway to reconciliation. Jesus unequivocally declares that if an offending brother repents of his sin, then the one whom he has offended is called to forgive him. This is not an option or a suggestion. This is a command from our Lord. Just as God has forgiven us, we are called to forgive others. In fact, Jesus says that we should be so willing to forgive that we must do it multiple times per day, if necessary.
And, what if we refuse to forgive? Well, recorded in Matthew 6 are the sobering words of Jesus answering that very question: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (v. 14-15). In other words, those who are willing to graciously demonstrate forgiveness prove that they, themselves, have been forgiven by their heavenly Father. Those who understand the depth of the forgiveness they have received, are the most willing to extend that same forgiveness to others. Yet, for those who demonstrate an unwillingness to forgive, it should cause them to question whether they’ve ever truly experienced God’s saving forgiveness at all.
Reconciling Forgiveness in the Church
While the process of reconciliation between individuals involves a series of personal steps, including repentance and a willingness to forgive, reconciling forgiveness in the context of the local church requires a commitment to restoration within a community of believers. Today, sadly, many churches lack the biblical conviction to carry out their God-given responsibility in this process, but the 18th chapter of Matthew provides us with Jesus’ instructions:
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector (v. 15–17)
The first thing to notice about these instructions is that they begin in the same way that we saw in Luke 17. A brother who has been sinned against goes to his brother to tell him his fault, privately, speaking the truth in love. Obviously, we know what the result should be if the offending brother demonstrates repentance: forgiveness is extended, and reconciliation is achieved.
However, in these instructions, Jesus elaborates on what should take place if the offending brother does not repent. First and foremost, the offended brother should follow the directive found in Deuteronomy 19:15, which says, “A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established.” This is why Jesus instructs the offended brother to bring along either one or two witnesses.
In the instructions provided by our Lord, it’s at this point that we recognize Jesus’ presupposition. Without any clarification, Jesus simply assumes the fact that these brothers belong to the membership of a local church. How do we know that? Well, because the next step in this process is for the offended brother to appeal to the authority of the local church. And, then, if he fails to listen even to the authority of the local church, this professing brother is to be considered an unbeliever.
It's important to keep in mind that the goal of this process, once again, is restoration. If repentance is demonstrated at any point along the path of this process, then forgiveness is extended. However, for the sake of the church’s purity and gospel witness, if no repentance is shown, then reconciling forgiveness among professing brothers, and restoration to the membership of the church, cannot be accomplished.
The Extent of Forgiveness
This leads us to one final question to consider: To what extent can and should forgiveness be granted? To fully answer that question, we need to make a distinction between two types of forgiveness.
Reconciling Forgiveness
As articulated above, reconciling forgiveness refers to the restoration of a relationship after an offense has occurred. Whether we’re referring to humanity’s relationship with God, or a relationship between fellow image-bearers, reconciling forgiveness involves an acknowledgement of sin, a demonstration of repentance, and an extension of forgiveness. Within this type of forgiveness, the opportunity to be fundamentally reconciled in relationship, and to begin working on a plan for increased relational restoration, is possible.
After hearing the Lord teach his disciples about how to rightly deal with sin, the Apostle Peter approached Jesus and said to him, “‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times’” (Matt. 18:21–22). Jesus then proceeded to tell a parable about an unforgiving servant. The overarching point of the parable was to convey that God has forgiven us of a debt immeasurably more than we can comprehend. Therefore, we should be the most forgiving people on the planet.
Releasing Forgiveness
But what if a person has sinned against us and refuses to repent? What if there is no acknowledgment of sin whatsoever? While reconciliation is not achievable, is forgiveness possible?
To understand this rightly, we need to remember our original definition for forgiveness. Forgiveness means “release” or “pardon”. Although there may be instances when we are not able to fulfill the mandate for reconciling forgiveness, we can extend releasing forgiveness within our own heart. Releasing forgiveness refers to a type of forgiveness that liberates an individual from the anger, hurt, and desire for retribution that one may feel towards the person who has wronged them. It does not necessarily involve restoring the relationship, but it at least releases a person from dwelling on the sin that has been committed against them.
Scripture provides us with several exhortations toward this type of forgiveness. Here are a few examples:
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:31–32).
“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Col. 1:12–13).
“Repay no one evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ To the contrary, ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom. 12:17-21).
A couple of practical examples may be helpful on this point. First, consider a situation involving two men who are both faithful followers of Christ. We’ll call them Josh and Kyle. Kyle has followed the biblical mandate in going to his brother, Josh, in private, to tell him of the sin he has committed against him. In response, Josh has refused to repent or even acknowledge the possibility of the offense. The two men part ways after an emotional conversation, and Josh is killed in a car accident on the way home.
In this scenario, it is simply impossible for Josh and Kyle to reconcile. That opportunity has now passed. Does that mean that Kyle is unable to obey the biblical command to forgive his brother? Of course not. Within his own heart, Kyle can and should choose to extend gracious forgiveness and no longer dwell on the sin that has been committed against him. This is releasing forgiveness.
Next, consider two women who are both believers and who attend the same local church. We’ll call them Amy and Jessica. Amy has attempted to speak with Jessica on more than one occasion about a sin she has committed against her. Since the offense took place in private, Amy appealed to her elders to seek their assistance, but after speaking to both women, the elders concluded that the situation was ultimately Amy’s word against Jessica’s.
Once again, without repentance, true reconciliation in this scenario is not possible. Amy believes she has been legitimately offended by Jessica’s sin, and Jessica believes that Amy is overreacting. There’s more that could be said here about how to create healthy relational boundaries in scenarios like these, but the bottom line is this: Christ calls us to put on hearts of humility and forgiveness. Whatever relationship Jessica and Amy previously had is now going to be impacted by the unresolved conflict. But, as a follower of Christ, it’s not God’s will for Amy to continue dwelling on Jessica’s sin. She must seek the Lord’s grace and trust Him to be the ultimate adjudicator, thus releasing her own heart from residing in the pain of the offense.
A Prayer of Forgiveness
When considering the complexities of human relationships and the messiness of sin, including our own, we should be encouraged by the wisdom and goodness of our God. In His divine knowledge, he has taught us how to pray. Fully recognizing the importance of forgiveness in a world full of darkness and sin, Jesus taught us to speak to God in this way:
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matt. 6:9-15).
May our lives be centered upon the cross of Christ. And as our thoughts are perpetually saturated by the magnitude of God’s grace and mercy shown to us, may we seek to demonstrate forgiveness to others, so that the world may see and come to know the transformative power of the gospel.
References:
[1] Jamie Buckingham., Corrie Ten Boom, Tramp for the Lord (United States: CLC Publications, 2011), 55-57.
[2] F.F. Bruce, The Acts of the Apostles: The Greek Text with Introduction and Commentary (United Kingdom: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company), 129.