Focusing on Family Worship: Part 3

So far, in this series, we have sought to look intently at the precedent and purpose for family worship. In other words, we’ve established where we find the call to family worship and the reason for family worship in Scripture. We’ve also seen some compelling examples and exhortations from church history. But those are all just great ideas until we put them into practice. Perhaps you’ve been thinking about the need you have to begin worshiping the Lord as a family, but you simply don’t know where to begin. Whether you’ve been doing it consistently for years, or you’re just getting started, it’s always important to consider the foundational practice of family worship.

The Real vs. The Ideal

If you’re like me, when you think of family worship, you may have an ideal picture in your mind: The family has gathered in the living room. My wife is beside me. The kids are all quietly sitting around me, and they’re listening intently, hanging on to my every word. But to be totally honest, that is often not what family worship looks like in my house. The reality is that my kids are rarely all listening intently. And getting them all to sit still for very long is simply not going to happen. Just the other day, while sitting down for family worship, our newborn began to cry, our two-year-old kept trying to ask random questions as I read, and our four-year-old kept repeating “Amen” in hopes of shutting me up.

And so although we may have an ideal in our mind for what family worship should look like, it probably won’t look like that for very long, especially if you have younger kids like I do. Plus, if we’re constantly failing to meet some unrealistic expectation we have in our minds, we will likely end up feeling consistently frustrated and be tempted to quit. Therefore, the goal, then, should be to keep it simple. Family worship doesn’t have to be complicated.

Quality vs. Quantity

It’s a common misconception that quantity always equals quality. Well-intentioned parents have mistakenly believed that to do family worship well, they need to spend lots of money on resources and prepare an extensive lesson plan or devotion. But, once again, the key is to keep it simple. Rather than trying to incorporate several different resources or setting an unrealistic standard that isn’t sustainable, it’s far better to establish a simple plan of action and stick to it. In fact, there are really four basic elements that I would encourage every family to include in their practice of family worship.

Read

Every time we gather for family worship, our time should be centered around the Word of God. The Word of God is “living and active” and “is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” (1 Tim. 3:16, Heb. 4:12). If we truly want to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, then we need to instruct them in the Scriptures (Eph. 6:4). So, start with a book of the Bible, and read the first chapter together. Then, each morning or evening when you gather as a family, simply pick up the reading in the next chapter. After you’re finished reading, teach your children what the text is saying, and engage them on their level. Ask them questions about the chapter: What is God revealing about Himself? How can we apply this passage of Scripture to our lives? What are the implications of this truth? You can even employ the common SPECK technique if you find it helpful:

Sins to Avoid or Confess: Does this text provide us with thoughts, words, or actions that are displeasing in God’s sight that we should confess or avoid?

Promises to Claim: Does this passage provide us with promises as part of God’s common grace or through the person and work of Jesus Christ?

Examples to Follow: Are there examples in this chapter of people who lived their lives in a commendable fashion, which encourages us to live in a faithful and God-honoring way?

Commands to Obey: Are there specific commands which have been provided to us from today’s reading that we are called to honor and obey?

Knowledge of God to Acquire: Has God revealed something about Himself from this passage that we can learn and seek to imitate?

Reading God’s Word in an expositional manner is a wonderful and consistent way to help our children understand the gospel and to worship the Lord, together, through His Word.

Pray

Another important component of family worship is prayer. When we read the Bible together as a family, we are seeking to hear from God. When we pray together as a family, we are speaking to God.

If you’ve ever struggled to know where to start in prayer, Jesus taught his disciples how to pray, saying,

“Pray then like this:
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil” (Matt. 6:9-13).

These words, of course, are not intended to be recited. But rather, Jesus was teaching his people a format for prayer. In addition, like the SPECK acronym above, it can sometimes be helpful to consider the ACTS approach when praying together as a family:

Adoration: These are prayers which praise God for who He is and what He has done for us.

Confession: During prayers of confession, we demonstrate honesty, humility, and transparency in confessing our sins to the Lord.

Thanksgiving: These are prayers that express gratitude and thankfulness for the gracious kindness and merciful goodness of the Lord.

Supplication: In prayers of supplication, we are asking God to supply, or provide, for us in some way.

Not only does God grant us the privilege of petitioning Him with these types of prayers, but asking our children for their prayer requests can be a helpful context for learning what’s on their heart. Allow your child to share their requests with the family. Perhaps even begin your prayer time with some truth you read together from Scripture. My family, from time to time, has even kept a prayer journal, where we write down our prayers in order to keep track of how God chooses to answer them. So, prayer is a vital part of family worship.

Memorize

Psalm 119:9-11 says, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your Word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”

To store up God’s Word in our heart means to memorize it. This is clearly something the Bible encourages us to do, and there’s really no limit to how it can be accomplished. You could pick one verse per week to memorize together as a family. Or, perhaps there’s a particular passage that you could work to memorize over a longer period of time. 

In my family, we also like to use a children’s catechism, which helps kids (and adults!) to memorize truths about God in a question and answer format. My kids love it! In fact, if we don’t do it one evening, they will often ask to do so. Ultimately, it’s all about what works best for your family. Whatever it is, work to hide God’s truth in the hearts of your family!

Sing

In Psalm 96, the psalmist declares, “Oh sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth! Sing to the Lord, bless His name; tell of His salvation from day to day… Ascribe to the Lord, O families of the peoples, ascribe to the Lord glory and strength!” (Ps. 96:1-2, 7).

Singing is another wonderful component of family worship. As we read the amazing truths of God’s Word, hide them in our hearts, and seek the Lord in prayer, singing together as a family is a great way to respond in joyful affirmation. We see this spelled out for us in Colossians 3:16, which says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”

Maybe you’re wondering, “Where do I find songs to sing?” Well, in my family, we’ve used a variety of resources. Some of those are online and others are in book format. I would also encourage you to look here for some helpful guidance on the importance of singing doctrinally solid music with your family. So, whether it’s the Psalms, a hymnal, or biblically sound songs from a music streaming service, sing to the Lord with your family!

Direction vs. Perfection

When it comes to the practice of family worship, it’s important to remember that the goal is direction, not perfection. It’s about the process and the moments of opportunity to teach our children the truth. Ultimately, it’s all about exalting Christ and pointing our families to the Savior through God’s Word. There will be days where family worship seems to go well, and there will be days when it doesn’t. We must continue to disciple our families amidst the day to day struggles of life, even when family worship seems to be part of that struggle. To be transparent, not only do I often experience this struggle myself, but I am frequently reminded that it is also an effective means of God sanctifying and working patience in me.

So, as we conclude our focus on family worship, my hope is that it will be an encouragement to you, either to introduce your family to worship in the home, or to persevere in it. Family worship is not a legalistic box to be checked off daily. It is a gracious privilege given to us by the Lord, to lead our families to Him. “For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen” (Rom. 11:36).