Homeschoolers Need Community
Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stand in in the way with sinners, nor sit in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. (Psalm 1:1)
When you choose a lifestyle in which you feel like you’re swimming upstream, it’s important to know you’re not alone. For Christian parents, raising our children in a post-Christian culture feels exactly like this. We have convictions about what’s right and biblical for our families, but we can sometimes feel like we’re barely afloat on a leaky raft in a very large ocean.
But having that one friend, or five, or fifty, who have the same convictions and who strive to live them out… it makes all the difference. It often means a long-term commitment to homeschooling over frustration, burnout, or a return to public school.
I live in the Bible Belt, in a small rural town in Texas. We are fortunate to live in an area where homeschooling has been popular for more than 30 years. There are several churches in which the majority of families homeschool their children. Various cooperatives exist to meet the needs and desires of every family and homeschooling philosophy. We also have tutors, hybrids, sports, art, field trips, band, prom, and random gatherings. There’s so much to be involved in that we laugh when someone expresses concern about socialization.
But I know this is not the norm everywhere. I ache for the homeschool mom who doesn’t have a group of friends to encourage each other, to bemoan math lessons once in a while, to share rides to field trips, or to join up for lunch after co-op. I hear from these moms on a weekly basis, desperate to continue homeschooling, but feeling like they are the fundamentalist weirdo in their church or neighborhood.
We Need Community
I’ve often said that my homeschool group is like a second church family. We share wisdom, encouragement, meals, books, and time. It’s not just for my kids. It’s for me, too. I laugh, pray, discuss, debate, and learn with these friends. As moms in the daily work of discipleship, it’s necessary to connect with other like-minded moms. We learn from each other, and we teach each other. Everyone has something to give, and everyone (even the veteran) has something to learn.
Too often, homeschoolers find their community exclusively online. While that’s a helpful start (and yes, a wealth of information), there is nothing like face-to-face conversation. That’s where real relationships are built and strengthened. If you don’t have this, I beg you to seek it out.
A well-established community is especially beneficial to the new homeschooling family. A circle of veteran moms (and dads) has years of experience to share with those just starting out. Whether it’s questions about curriculum, advice for a struggling learner, or a reminder of the big picture, having experienced homeschool parents to turn to is a valuable gift!
And community is not just for the moms. Very often, homeschool dads are sort of on the sidelines, supportive but still hesitant. They may hear about the benefits of homeschooling, but don’t have the perspective of long-term home discipleship. They still wonder if this is even a good idea. Homeschool dads need to have the support and encouragement of other homeschool dads. There is so much to be gained by sharing similar callings, and seeing the fruit of discipleship.
How to Find Community
Since homeschooling is so organic, no two communities are the same. There are a few ways to find support in your area:
Social media: Facebook groups are the easy way to start. If your town or neighborhood has a mom’s Facebook group or a local news/chatter page, start there. Ask if there is a support group or co-op near you. If you’re utilizing any social media, simply post an inquiry. Your friends (local and otherwise) just may know someone.
Church: If you attend a church where there are no homeschool families, call around to other churches and ask what they know. Often times, homeschool groups meet in church facilities. This is not to say that you need to change churches; it’s an easy way to find the local Christian homeschoolers in your area.
Library: Homeschoolers make consistent use of the public libraries, and they are known by the staff. Ask a librarian for info.
Extracurricular activities: Homeschooled kids go to ballet, sports, music lessons, martial arts, and more. Ask your child’s coach or instructor if they know of any homeschool families.
How to Start a Community
I mentioned above that our homeschool community has been going strong for 30+ years. (My homeschool journey began 40 years ago in this area as an 11-year-old.) In the town where I live, the group started with park days, and word got around by means of a “phone tree.” (For you millennials, that’s where people called each other on the phone, gave the meeting place and time, and asked them to call a few more people.) Our first co-op began in 2000, and is still going strong. In the meantime, multiple co-ops have sprung up, as well as hybrid schools, cotillion, sports teams, nature groups, color guard, band and orchestra, and field trips.
Here's the important thing to note: each of these groups began with parents making the commitment to serve. Everyone has gifts, whether it is planning, organization, communication, teaching, encouragement, giving, and more! While one parent may have the vision, others may be able to carry it out. And through the organizing of events for children and teens, parents form friendships that provide community.
In public school life, families typically rely on the school (and a handful of parent volunteers) to provide everything: curriculum, teaching, sports, transportation, meals, etc. In homeschooling, it’s the complete opposite: parents do it all. We organize, plan, and fund everything. If you’re coming from public school into homeschooling, sometimes it’s hard to wrap your head around this idea. But this is where community is. If you invest the time, you will be richly rewarded, and so will your children.
Start a park day: This is super easy! Meeting up at a local park works for all ages. Little kids love the playground. And if you have teens, find a park with something for them: volleyball courts and skate ramps are great. Make your meet-ups consistent, and they will grow. Enterprising parents might even expand the casual park time into a nature group or activity like hiking, bird watching, or weekly ball games.
Start a field trip group: Commit to one outing a month, and alternate between educational and recreational. Consider museums, plays, bowling, hiking, skating, historic sites, etc. And have lunch together! Whether you pack a picnic or meet for hamburgers, meals provide opportunity for conversation and friendship.
Start a co-op: Homeschool cooperatives come in a wide variety of formats, but basically it involves parents, students, and scheduled classes or activities. For example, we have one in our area that meets weekly for 10 weeks in the spring, and again in the fall. Parent volunteers teach all of the classes, and a nursery is offered. We meet in a local church facility, and at the end of each semester, there is a program for the students to perform and/or display what they have accomplished.
Start a sports team: Whether you want casual fun or serious competition, you can achieve it in homeschooling! There are regional and national tournaments all over the U.S. where homeschool teams compete in volleyball, basketball, track, and football.
In addition to activities for your children, consider parental support when possible. You might have a quarterly event for moms and dads, a mom’s book club or night out, or an invited guest who will speak encouragement.
When starting some kind of group, consider your vision and your beliefs. Communicate clear goals for the group. Establish a statement of faith. Invite other leaders who are in agreement with all of these, and stand firm.
And please, spread the word! If you know how it feels to need a group, then you know there are multiple other families in the same position! Hang flyers around town, post on local socials, and tell your friends.
Like-minded Community
As a Christian homeschooler in a world where secular homeschooling is growing, I want to encourage you to be choosy. I know that’s not popular in a time when “inclusive” is the politically correct buzzword, but hear me out.
Christian home education is not the same as general homeschooling. We don’t want to be like the world. That’s why we are on this journey. We have answered a call to be separate. We must carefully choose how our children spend the majority of their time. We must also carefully choose how we, as parents, spend the majority of our time. Participating and serving in a local church should be our top communal priority. And after that, fellowship with like-minded families for education and recreation is so helpful.
This is not a call to turn our backs on the world. But it is an admonition to choose fellowship with wisdom. Some homeschool groups are all-inclusive, while others are very exclusive. When choosing for your family, remember: public schools are all-inclusive, and you chose to withdraw from that.
He who walks with wise men will be wise, but a companion of fools will be destroyed. (Proverbs 13:20)
You want friends for yourself and for your children who will sharpen your iron, so to speak. You need a godly community of believers to encourage you in the biblical home discipleship model. And, you may just be the person to provide that for someone else.